A Fun Route Through Germany: From Kisses to Royal Beer

Germany can surprise you with more than castles, Christmas markets, and neat half-timbered streets. There are also places on the map whose names sound like a ready-made joke: Kissing, Petting, Linsengericht, and Kotzen. This route suits anyone who has already seen the classic sights and wants to add a bit of absurdity to their trip, along with photos of road signs and small towns beyond the standard tourist trail.

How to plan the trip

This is not a route for one relaxed day: the stops are spread across Bavaria, Hesse, and Brandenburg. It makes more sense to treat it as an idea for several short outings or as a set of stops you can work into an already planned trip around Germany.

Kissing is easy to combine with Augsburg and Munich.
Petting is in southeastern Bavaria, near Waginger See and not far from Salzburg.
Linsengericht can be added to a trip to Frankfurt am Main and the Spessart region.
Kotzen is easiest to see as an unusual stop in Brandenburg if you are traveling by car from Berlin.

For this kind of route, a car is almost always the most convenient option. Public transport to small towns is not always tourist-friendly, and it is best to check schedules before your trip.

Kissing: “kisses” near Augsburg

Kissing is a Bavarian municipality not far from Augsburg. For Russian-speaking tourists, the name is almost self-explanatory, and for English-speaking visitors it sounds like a ready-made photo caption. The main reason to stop here is not a world-class museum, but the combination of ordinary German daily life and an unexpected name on a road sign.

What you can do in Kissing:

take a photo by the town sign;
walk through the quiet residential streets and surrounding area;
combine the stop with a trip to Augsburg;
use the town as a short, unusual stop on a Bavaria itinerary.

Kissing works best as a light stop: you arrive, smile, take a photo, and continue on to the more eventful part of the route.

Petting: a lake, Bavaria, and a name everyone notices

Petting is in the Traunstein district, near Waginger See. The name is especially amusing to English-speaking tourists, but the area is interesting for more than that alone: here you already feel southern Bavaria, with its lakes, rural landscapes, and closeness to the Alps.

What to see nearby:

Waginger See for walks, relaxing by the water, and summer swimming;
Schönramer Filz for a natural area with bog landscapes and walking routes;
Salzburg if you want to add an Austrian city, fortress, old town, and mountain views to the trip;
small Bavarian villages and the region’s brewing traditions.

It is better to plan Petting not as a five-minute stop, but as part of a slow day by the lake. Then the funny name becomes a bonus rather than the trip’s only purpose.

Linsengericht: a “lentil dish” in Hesse

Linsengericht is literally understood as a “lentil dish” or “lentil stew.” On the map, it is a municipality in Hesse, east of Frankfurt am Main. It is convenient for this route because there is a major transport hub nearby, while the surrounding area has forests, hills, and small towns.

Ideas for a stop:

take a photo with the name and send it to friends without explanation;
combine the trip with Frankfurt, Hanau, or walks in Hesse’s natural areas;
use Linsengericht as a funny stop between the urban part of the route and a calmer nature program.

Do not expect a “lentil theme park” here. The point of the stop is the name, the atmosphere of a small place, and the chance to break up a trip around the Frankfurt region with something unexpected.

Kotzen: the most awkward name on the route

Kotzen is a small municipality in Brandenburg. In German, the word sounds like the verb “to vomit,” so the name inevitably gets a reaction from people who know the language. For locals, though, it is simply a place name, not a tourist attraction.

How to include Kotzen in your trip:

stop by on a drive from Berlin or during a route through Brandenburg;
make a short stop at the road sign;
combine it with the region’s lakes, villages, and quiet rural scenery;
do not turn the joke into intrusive behavior: this is a place where people live, not a set.

Kotzen is best treated as the final touch of the route. After Kissing, Petting, and Linsengericht, the name sounds like the unexpected punch line of the whole trip.

In what order to go

If you want to collect all four names in one long trip, you can build the route like this:

Kissing as the start in Bavaria near Augsburg.
Petting in southeastern Bavaria, with Waginger See and, if you like, Salzburg.
Linsengericht with a transfer to Hesse and a stop near Frankfurt am Main.
Kotzen in Brandenburg as the final point not far from Berlin.

In practice, this is a long route through different parts of Germany. It is more comfortable to split it up: Bavaria separately, Hesse separately, Brandenburg separately. That way the trip does not turn into a marathon for the sake of four signs.

What to check before the trip

Before you leave, it is worth checking not the names themselves, but the practical details:

public transport schedules if you are traveling without a car;
parking availability in small towns;
whether walking routes and natural areas are open in the season you are visiting;
the weather, especially for lakes and bog landscapes;
the rules for visiting natural areas if you plan to go to Schönramer Filz or similar places.

For photos, it is best to choose daylight hours and avoid disturbing local residents. Funny names are a good reason to smile, but these places are still ordinary German municipalities.

Who will enjoy this route

This route is a good fit for people who:

like unusual place names and road oddities;
have already seen Germany’s main tourist cities;
are traveling by car and are ready to make short stops;
want to bring back not only views, but also stories from the trip;
are looking for a lighthearted theme for a trip with friends.

If this is your first time in Germany and you want to see as many classics as possible, it is better to start with Munich, Berlin, Hamburg, Cologne, Dresden, or the Romantic Road. Leave Kissing, Petting, Linsengericht, and Kotzen as a fun addition to a larger itinerary.